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Happy Sunday 👋🏾,

Do you remember being a kid and wishing time would hurry up?

I used to say all of the following:

1. I can’t wait to finish secondary school.
2. I can’t wait to be an adult.
3. I can’t wait to stay up as late as I want.
4. I can’t wait to have my own money.
5. I can’t wait until nobody can tell me what to do.
6. I can't wait to be tall. (Still waiting on that one.)

But honestly, being an adult is really adulting. They never told you about all of this. Or they did, and I just didn’t listen.

Now, in my 40s, I’m asking time to slow down.

Two weeks ago, Zeek started full-time preschool attached to a school, and he has to wear a uniform.

He couldn’t wait to get his uniform on and got dressed all by himself, apart from the polo top. We had to help with that.

There was this moment when I was putting his collar down and looking at him, thinking, “One day, I’m going to be doing the same thing, but with a tie.”

It honestly feels crazy.

Sheriden and I both stood there doing the classic parent thing, taking loads of pictures.

How did this happen so quickly?

Nearly four years ago, we brought him home from the hospital, not sure what to do with a baby who relied on us for everything.

Now he’s got the biggest comebacks, and he’s pushing every boundary.

Sheriden told him to stop talking back the other day. He looked at her and said, “Shall I talk forward?”

On holiday, he was squashed in the back of the car with some other kids. One of them said, “It’s tight.” Zeek said, “What do you want me to do? Sit on the roof?”

Then this week, a teacher asked him to stop doing something. His reply: “I will not stop doing it until you address me by my name.”

I wonder where he gets this sarcasm and the quick comebacks from?????

Neither of us is taking full credit. LOL.

This is the boy who took ages to crawl. Took ages to walk. And somehow he’s got the spirit of an old man.

Then I look at my parents.

I remember my dad at six foot, muscles, strong. My mum a beautiful woman, still very beautiful, always active, full of energy.

Now I can see them slowing down. Getting older.

And it hits me that time with them is precious in a way I didn’t feel a few years ago.

One thing I want to do is actually talk to them about their lives. Ask them questions. The kind of things I wouldn’t have dared to ask as a young Nigerian boy growing up. (You just didn’t, right?)

For me, this is important to keep the spirit of my parents alive, and to share it with my son.

It’s interesting how the relationship changes as you get older, and rightly so. You can have deep conversations with your parents now. That’s another kind of time.

The same clock that turned a baby into a boy with opinions is running on my mum and dad as well. I can’t slow it down for either of them.

What I can do is be more intentional with mine.

I’ve said this to you before. I want to say no more. Do the things I actually want to do.

Have I lived it? Not really.

Small example. I don’t want to be going out at 11pm any more. Some people will call that boring and being old. I’m okay staying in my house, man.

But it’s not the nights out that catch me. It’s the good causes.

A while back I said yes to a speaking engagement. It didn’t fit my schedule. But it was for young people from a deprived area, and I felt guilty saying no.

It’s going to fall on one of the busiest weeks in the lead-up to going to Nigeria, and there are so many things I need to get done. I’m still doing it.

When it’s a good cause, I find it really hard to say no.

What I could have done is pass it on to another speaker, and I only thought about that when I was drafting this newsletter.

I have to keep on reminding myself of the below.

I can’t pour into everyone else and not pour into myself.

I can’t be everything to everyone and nothing to myself.

So the question I’ve started asking is simple. What do I actually want to pour into?

We are constantly reminded to hug our people. Spend time with your family and your friends.

I agree with all of it. It’s still hard when you’re trying to grow a business and start another one in a different country.

Life is going to be busy. That’s not changing. Which is why the no matters so much. It’s the only way the time ends up being yours again. It’s the most valuable currency we have.

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Have a great week!

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