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Dear Ezekiel,

Today is Father’s Day, and it’s got me reflecting. I’ve been your father for two and a half years now and what a ride it has been.

I’ve felt blessed, grateful, overwhelmed, confused, exhausted, and more. I still remember the first moment I held you. I had no clue what I was doing. No idea how we were going to figure it all out. But here we are. Two and a half years in, and I think we’ve found our feet (well, sort of, we are still in your recently elevated testing two’s phase after all!) But this journey with you has already changed me in ways I didn’t expect. Here are just a few.

1. My capacity for love has grown

I thought I knew what love was before you. But this is different. It’s not the big dramatic moments or the picture-perfect scenes. Most of the time, it’s just watching you be you, laughing to yourself, feeling proud you can put your own shoes on, stacking blocks so high we know they will definitely fall down and climbing in places you probably shouldn’t. In those moments, I catch myself feeling something deeper than I’ve ever felt. Every minute, every day, every year, I love you more. It’s not complicated. It’s just consistent. And I know it’s only going to grow.
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2. You’ve made me more patient

Let’s not sugar-coat, the testing twos is a real phase. Some days feel like a constant battle; the snacks you don’t want, shoes you don’t want to wear, and whether or not Paw Patrol should be watched for 5 more minutes! There are times I could easily snap or want to just walk away. But I’ve noticed that I’m learning to pause, take a breath and think more compassionately before I respond. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress. You’ve shown me that patience isn’t just about waiting, it’s about how I choose to respond, when we need to leave the house, or when I’m overwhelmed with work or just tired.

3. Your curiosity has reawakened mine

Every time we step outside, it starts.

“Look at that”, “What’s that?”, “Why?”, “Can I do it?”

Sometimes I’m tempted to rush you along, to keep moving, to get where we’re going. But you’ve got your own pace. You’ll stop to stare at people, the ants on the ground and will literally pause to smell the flowers. And as exhausting as it can be, you remind me to slow down. You’ve helped me notice the little things again. You’ve made me ask questions I haven’t thought about in years. You’ve helped me rediscover my curiosity, even if I still don’t want you trying to pick up spiders and put them in your pocket.

4. I’ve noticed how easy it is to pass down fear

There are moments I catch myself saying “Don’t do that” before you’ve even had a chance to try. It’s not always because it’s unsafe, it’s just fear. My fear. Fear of you getting hurt, of you failing, of making a mess or doing it wrong. However, the truth is that you need space to explore, to climb, to fall, to figure things out on your own.

5. Being present matters more than anything else

There’s always something to do. A message to reply to, a deadline coming up, something I forgot to tick off the list. But I’ve learned that when I’m with you, the most important thing I can do is be with you. Fully. Not half-listening while scrolling. Not nodding while thinking about my to-do list. You don’t need me to be perfect, you just need me to show up and give you my time.

I’ve been fortunate enough to be surrounded by many great fathers and learn from them, starting with my dad, who has taught me more than I can put into words. But also from my friends like Mudi, my gym bros, and those I’ve watched step into and grow into fatherhood along with me.

So here’s to a Happy Father’s Day to all the dads doing their best. And to anyone for whom this day is tough, for those missing their dads, or navigating fatherhood with grief or distance I’ll be thinking about you too!

I’m personally looking forward to eating well today, enjoying time with you and your mum, wondering what next year will look like when your new brother or sister joins us.
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Love you son!
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Dad
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