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Happy Sunday 👋🏾,

I owe you an apology.

Last time I wrote, I dropped a grenade and then ran off (I suppose that's what you're meant to do when you throw a grenade, I joke.)

I told you I'd had my first epileptic attack in years. I told you I was on heavy pain relief medication, including morphine and couldn’t walk very far even with the crutches.

And I promised to come back every week and tell you how things were going.

I’m back now, holding my hands up. I didn't do that.

Let me explain.

The truth is, I thought I was in a better place than I actually was. I was using optimism to cloud me from reality. Once that slipped, it was hard. It felt dark.

So I went quiet.

I didn't want to show up playing the happy, smiling, everything-is-fine version of Lawrence. But I really wasn’t ready to talk just yet about how I really was doing. So instead of faking it, I kept to myself.

I reflected and processed what was going on with me, in my body and in my head. And with all the energy I had left, I put everything into being ready for my trip to Lagos.
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In my mind there was never a version where I would miss my own event. Seizures or not both crutches or just the one, bag full of medication, I was getting on that flight and my summit would be a success.

I hope that makes sense now and I am forgiven.

So moving on to Lagos. In the last edition of the newsletter, I talked a little about my big event.

We'd been planning the first ever Lagos Summit featuring Google for Education for close to six months. And here's why it mattered so much to me. Teachers In Nigeria, don't get access to quality professional development like we do in the UK.
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When planning this, I kept in mind accessibility, so I needed to ensure it was free for educators to attend, rooted in practical strategies to support educators with the local contextual issues in Nigeria.

We had over 1,000 applications for 120 places. It was a jam packed day, a full hands-on day, keynote speeches, discussion panels, the lot.

My mum and dad were born and raised in Nigeria. So to bring together colleagues and a Nigerian community keen to learn about how they can support their students more effectively in that room meant something huge, internally I'm still reflecting.

You know I don't usually let the wins get to my heart.

At one point I looked out at the crowd and saw my dad standing at the back, crooked smile.

For the first time, he could see what I actually do. And it was in Nigeria after randomly booking a visit at the same time. It's funny how life works out, right?

That was a proud moment for me.

The sheer energy and the volume of people in that room... I'm still sitting with it. It feels wild that we actually pulled it off. It was thoroughly enjoyable, so many good contacts made and conversations had, but by the end of the day the demand floored me.

I did not achieve it alone. My A team involved Key academy on the ground, and Dami was a total godsend. She owns Key academy and was the partner holding it down and sorting logistics while I coordinated from the UK.

Then there's Johanna, my PA, who stayed with me even when I was throwing my mini tantrums. The way the whole team rallied while I was in the hospital meant everything. They knew exactly how much this mattered to me.

When I look back to a month ago, none of this looked possible. A lot of people were worried about me getting on that plane, and I understood why. I was on two crutches. I could barely walk more than 100m. I was on heavy medication and I was not in a good place. But I did it.

Here's what I take from all this: if you have a dream and a vision, it's never going to be easy. You have to fight for that dream or vision, and be willing to go to places you might not think you would have to go. For me, I know God is walking with me.

​Watch the highlight reel here​

Now the part I'm not proud of.

My ego got the better of me out there. There were times I needed my walking stick but didn't use it. I didn't want it in the pictures or while I was on stage.

So I left it to one side. I'm paying for that now. I'll be on it another two to three weeks because of those photos.

But there's a harder admission.

On the bad days, I had to ask for help. Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate that. I'd rather sort it myself than lean on anyone.

This time I couldn't. I had to let people in and let them help me. I'm still working on being alright with that.

I gave Sheriden my word that I'd play it safe during this journey. I had to swallow my pride and accept that I couldn't do it all myself. That meant actually using the airport assistance and boarding early with those who need extra time. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I kept reminding myself that this struggle is only temporary. It's just for right now.

On a side note: My cousin was with me in Lagos, keeping a close eye on things. Sheriden had even sent him a full breakdown of instructions to make sure I was behaving and staying on track.

This week I'm so excited to go back to the gym.

I told you a month ago I'd be back in the gym, but the truth is I was lying to myself. I wasn't ready then, but this week the real work begins and I can finally start moving again. Don't worry, I'll take it easy.

I am turning 40 this year, and at the start of the year I was trying to get into the best shape of my life. The mission is still the same, but the timeline is shorter.

Tomorrow I will start properly. Slowly. Physio first, then the back lifting you can follow on your journey on instagram.

So that's where I've been. All of it.

I'm home now. Still sore. Still on the stick. But I'm back.

And it's good to be writing to you again.

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Have a great week!

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