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Happy Sunday 👋🏾,

For most of my life, I’ve tried to be that perfect guy.

Not just a guy (you see what did there 🤣). Not just someone doing his best. But that perfect guy. The one who ticks all the boxes, never slips up, and fits the mould that people and society says I should fill. If I’m being honest, that mindset goes all the way back to my school days.

It’s funny how certain comments stick with you. Not tall enough. Too dark. And not just from anywhere, but from my own people. Black kids telling me my skin was “too dark,” like I was supposed to apologise for the shade I was born with. That one hurt. I won’t lie. I was the darkest-skinned person in my immediate family, which only made it feel more personal.

Then there were my teeth. White, sure, but that gap? Right at the front? Apparently, that was a problem too.

At the time, I absorbed it all. Deep down, I was letting it shape me. The message was clear. I wasn’t enough or good enough.

And those feelings carried into adulthood. The constant awareness of my imperfections. The idea that I wasn’t quite right, that I had to “fix” myself in order to be accepted.

I even considered getting rid of my gap and getting full veneers. But when I spoke to a few people about the idea, the response shocked me.

“I couldn’t imagine you without the gap. It’s you.”

Suddenly, the thing I spent so long trying to hide, the reason I used to smile awkwardly or cover my mouth, was the thing people loved about me.

The other day, I was walking into Superdrug when a woman stopped me.

“You’ve got a fantastic smile. It’s made my day.”

My first instinct was to hide my smile. I caught myself. I let the compliment sit. And for the first time, I really took it in.

It hit me how much things had changed. Years ago, I would’ve done everything to hide that gap. Now, it’s something people notice in a good way.

And that wasn’t the only moment that made me think.

Just a few days later, a bald man, yes, I need to clarify that, came up to me and said, “How do you shave your head so clean? It looks so good. What’s your secret?”

I had to laugh. I’ve been bald for years, but for the longest time, I saw it as another “imperfection” I had to make peace with. Now, someone’s out here asking for my advice on it.

My secret? Embrace it. Own it. I stopped seeing it as something that made me less than and started seeing it as something that just is. When you own something fully, people respect it.

The Shift

It took me a long time to realise that the things I once saw as flaws were actually what made me me.

The moment I stopped trying to be perfect, the moment I let go of that impossible standard, I started stepping into who I really am.

A 5’7” bald man with a gap. But also, an amazing father, husband, and successful entrepreneur.

And the wildest part? The more I embraced my authentic self, the more opportunities came my way.

Yet for years, I thought my voice didn’t belong in the room unless I got every single word perfect. I thought people like me couldn’t be successful or be in positions of power.

That belief came from a mix of self-doubt and the fact that, growing up, I rarely saw people like me in these spaces.

Sometimes, I don’t even take in how much I’ve achieved. I still have to pinch myself that I get paid to speak.

I used to stumble over my words. I used to stay quiet because I never thought I was eloquent enough.

This is how imposter syndrome sneaks in. It tells you that you don’t belong. That unless you’re flawless, people won’t take you seriously.

But it’s a lie.

The world doesn’t need perfect. It needs real.

The Bigger Picture

Learning to embrace my imperfections hasn’t just been about appearance or self-acceptance.

Living with epilepsy and chronic pain has taught me that control is an illusion.

I can do all the “right” things, follow every doctor’s order, and plan my days meticulously. My body will still do what it wants.

For a long time, I fought it. I saw my conditions as weaknesses, things that made me less than.

But the truth? They’ve given me a perspective I never would’ve had otherwise.

They’ve taught me resilience, patience, and adaptability.

I used to think life was about smoothing out every wrinkle and eliminating every flaw. Now, I know the beauty of life is the imperfection. The unpredictable. The messy. The things we never planned for but somehow navigate anyway.

Some of the most inspiring stories aren’t about people who had it easy.

They’re about people who stumbled. Who struggled. Who thought they couldn’t go on and did anyway.

And that’s my story too.

Maybe it’s yours as well.

The Gold in the Cracks

I’ve always loved the idea of Kintsugi, the Japanese practice of repairing broken pottery with gold.

Instead of hiding the cracks, it highlights them, turning flaws into something beautiful.

It reminds us that no matter how broken we may feel, there’s always a way to put the pieces back together.

And when the light hits just right, you’ll shine brighter than ever.

Quote of the Week

Have a great week!

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